favorite song

Well, that's the title...though this could easily work its way to the top for me :)



The Lord your God is with you,
    he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
    he will quiet you with his love,
    he will rejoice over you with singing.”
-Zephaniah 3:17


PS- Happy 100th post to this blog!

blessing carrier.

My absolute favorite person, besides Jesus, in the Bible is (Old Testament) Joseph - hands down.  It was easy for me to pick out J's middle name because of Joseph's character.  He was, in so many ways, like Jesus Himself:

Wrong accused, betrayed, hated (even by those who were supposed to be closest to him)...yet he chose to forgive and to love.

Unjustly punished and put through suffering he didn't deserve...yet he remained faithful and didn't cave into bitterness.

He's probably most remembered for running away in the face of temptation and being able to provide wisdom and insight from God for the king.  But today, as I read Genesis 39, I was reminded of yet another reason why I chose this as my boy's middle name.


Genesis 39
² The Lord was with Joseph so that he prospered, and he lived in the house of his Egyptian master. ³ When his master saw that the Lord was with him and that the Lord gave him success in everything he did, ⁴ Joseph found favor in his eyes and became his attendant. Potiphar put him in charge of his household, and he entrusted to his care everything he owned. ⁵ From the time he put him in charge of his household and of all that he owned, the Lord blessed the household of the Egyptian because of Joseph. The blessing of the Lord was on everything Potiphar had, both in the house and in the field. ⁶ So Potiphar left everything he had in Joseph’s care; with Joseph in charge, he did not concern himself with anything except the food he ate.


Amazing!  I could understand the Lord blessing Joseph in all the areas of his life because He was with him (as it's mentioned at least 3 times in this chapter)...but the mere thought that God would bless all the people (and even things!) around him just because of Joseph's faith and heart?   Amazing.

A blessing carrier.  That's what Joseph was.  It's ironic because when you consider Joseph's life from the outside (especially the part about him being a slave and prisoner), it doesn't even look like God blessed Joseph's life at all.  Yet I believe God did way more than that - He blessed him in such a way that it spilled out into other peoples' lives and thus spoke a louder message to those around him about what kind of God he served.

This is what I want - to walk with God and have His blessings overflow from my life to those around me.  That my actions and reactions would only point to my ever faithful, unchanging Father in an unfaithful and transient world.  To live like Jesus.

psalm 71 = wow.

But as for me, I will always have hope;
I will praise You more and more.
My mouth will tell of Your righteousness,
of Your salvation all day long, though I know not its measure.
I will come and proclaim Your mighty acts, O Sovereign Lord;
I will proclaim Your righteousness, Yours alone.

Since my youth, O God, You have taught me
and to this day I declare Your marvelous deeds.
Even when I am old and gray,
do not forsake me, O God,
till I declare Your power to the next generation,
Your might to all who are to come.


...it's like a heart song begging to be written.

praising Him in the storm

I have the Casting Crowns song stuck in my head, as I reflect on this past week.  Lots of storms - of all sorts.  Let's recap:

1. Last Friday - dear friends from college visited with their beautiful 7 month old daughter.  What should have taken them 4 hours ended up being around 6 hours due to the torrential downpour and lightning.
   
2. This past week - throughout Grace retreat, J suffered with a recurring fever and then a rash that broke out over his body upon our return home.
   
3. This past Friday - somehow I missed the news that a storm was coming, so it took me by surprise.  Thousands without power in the DMV area alone, including my sister's neighborhood.  As of tonight, the power still hasn't returned in her neighborhood.  This also affected J's best friend's first birthday party, as they scrambled to find a new venue at the last moment due to power outages.
   
4. Today - the Mexico mission team left for the airport as planned, in the wee hours of the morning.  However, every flight to Houston was delayed, causing them to miss their connecting flights into Mexico.

For each of these situations, my first gut reaction is to despair, to worry, to panic.  
Yet I'm learning (s l o w l y) that God is sovereign.  He reigns over every situation - both the good and the bad, both the convenient and the inconvenient.

In each of these situations, there was no reason, ultimately, to despair.  My friends arrived safely through the storm, J recovered completely within the week, the birthday party was relocated to an even better location, and I believe God is redeeming the traveling situation that the team is encountering.

I received a call from Mr. A during this morning's Sunday service, saying that there were no more available flights to Mexico for 1/3 of their team until Wednesday. (Bear in mind that this is a 9 day mission trip!)  He was looking for any alternative and asked me to research the driving distance between Chiapas, Mexico and the airports in Belize and Guatemala.  We really didn't know what to do or what was going to happen.

During the service however, we read a verse in 1 Corinthians and my eyes wandered over to 1 Corinthians 15:57-58.  It was so encouraging that I immediately texted it to Mr. A.  It says:

But thanks be to God!  He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm.  Let nothing move you.  Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.


After service, I was driving and began to pray that God would redeem the situation - knowing that God could very well turn their traveling mishaps into a mission trip itself.  I remembered their prayer topic - that they would be have victory wherever they go and in every situation, with every person they encounter.

Later, Mr. A emailed and shared that he had had the opportunity to pray for the lady who managed to get them tickets to Mexico City (while everyone else was telling them they should just return to Maryland).  She started crying and told him how customers usually treat her poorly when these issues arise, but to have someone pray for her was a blessing.  When I later talked on the phone with Mr. A, I told him how encouraging it was to hear about her, and he told me that he had been thinking about victory before praying for her, and then received my text and shared the verse with her when he prayed for her.  The lady's name?  Victoria.

I believe this is just the beginning!

Through all of this, I am realizing how honored God is when we choose to praise Him in our inconveniences...to thank Him, even for the storms.  It is a declaration that we recognize that He is way bigger than any problem that we might face or any glitch that may arise.

Thank You, Jesus, for teaching me with such patience and gentleness.  I believe and claim victory for our mission team, even as they are en route to Mexico... in whatever situation they are in, You are able to and so willing to work in amazing ways that cause every eye to turn to You.  I choose to trust.  I choose to praise!

looking up.

Just about a month ago, our lil J learned to roll over.  He would roll from his back to his belly, but since he didn't like being on his tummy, he would cry frantically and often do a face-plant into the floor in defeat (a sight that was simultaneously really sad and kind of amusing). A couple weeks later, though, he started becoming interested in trying to roll onto his back.  This involved lots of kicking and back-arching and wiggling and squirming.

As I observed him, it became clear to me that the first thing that had to move was his head.  He need to lead with his (ahem*90thpercentile*) head so that the rest of the body would follow.  Yet this involved falling backwards, which is a scary concept for anyone, let alone a 4 month old.

When he finally did roll over, I saw that it wasn't because of his strength or sheer will.  It was because of his position.  In order to complete a successful belly-to-back roll, J needed only to look up.  When he looked up, his head leaned back, his body naturally began to roll to the side and the roll was quick and effortless.  But when he struggled, kicked, and cried, he only got frustrated and tired.  *face plant*

How true is this of the struggles that we face every day?  When we try to accomplish them by our own strength or sheer will, we often end up exhausted, weary and with our face in the dirt.

Yet when we look up...


our challenges become effortless,

our strength is renewed,

and the things that once burdened us can even bring us joy.

All because of a Father who loves to see our face :)

Isaiah 40:28-31 -  Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

i can wait

Hello again, blog world! Hard to believe that so much time has gone by since I last posted.  New lifestyle, new look to the blog.
Since my last post was about dreams, I thought it would be fitting to write another based around a dream I had this past week.

First of all, please meet J:

He is turning 3 months tomorrow, and has brought absolute joy to our lives :)

I was thinking recently about how so much of my life has been marked by big events that I have anticipated.  When I was little, I couldn't wait to grow up and be in the next grade.  When I reached middle school, I couldn't wait to turn 16 and drive.  When I was 16, I couldn't wait to go to college and get a job.  When I got a job, I couldn't wait to get married and have kids.

And now that I'm happily married and a first-time mommy, I find myself thinking about the next landmarks in J's life that I'm looking forward to.  I can't wait till he can sit up on his own.  I can't wait till he develops an interest in books and we can read together. I can't wait till he starts talking.  I can't wait till he can toddle around and hold my hand on walks.  I can't wait...

Then, a few nights ago, I had a very vivid dream.  It started out silly, where I was actually one of the characters on my favorite TV show.  Then, I remember stepping off the set and asking Mr. A where J was.  He told me that J had started walking - at 3 months!  I thought, Well, maybe I should count his steps to make sure it's really walking and not just falling forward.  I followed him around and counted 59 steps...and then he took off, running!  :)  I remember thinking, Genius baby!

This dream made me realize that I don't want to waste away my life (or J's) by wishing for another time yet to come.  As my maternity leave comes to an end in a few weeks, I'm using this as a reminder to savor the time I have - right here and right now... and not just for parenthood, but life in general.

So instead of saying, "I can't wait,"  I want to start thinking, "I can wait..."  God is calling me to wait - on Him.  He's calling me to look around gratefully at what He has given me for now, and the time He has given me, and to love.

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.  

-psalm 118:24

ten more days.

10 more days until our EDD. Whew - where did all the time go? Every time Mr. A. and I sit down for a meal, I think (and often say aloud), "This could be our last meal as a family of 2!" Dramatic, I know. But it could be true! :)

Everywhere I turn, there's someone telling me that they delivered at 36 weeks, 37 weeks, 38 weeks, etc. Eeek! I'm experiencing a mixture of nervousness (We need more time! Our house isn't ready yet!) and anxiousness (I can't wait to see his lil face!!!). The closer we get to the due date, though, the more I experience the latter. I myself (and actually my siblings too) was born 2 weeks late, and I wonder how my mom patiently waited till then? I remember what someone told me recently, though. God knows the right time for our baby to be born...I don't need to rush it or worry if he's late. When he's actually born will be His perfect timing. <3

¹³ For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

-Psalm 139:13-16

Questions, Wonderings...

It's easy for me to get overwhelmed, inundated by questions, wonderings, worries.

• Can I really handle labor?
• Will I be able to go through with natural childbirth as we've been planning, through class?
• What if he arrives super early, while we're still in school?
• What if he arrives super late, when Mr. A. is away?
• What if J is really, really big?
• What will I be like as a mother?
• What will I be doing, career-wise after J arrives?
• What will I be doing, ministry-wise after J arrives?
• Will we be able to balance taking care of a baby, a house, others, and ourselves, all when we are utterly sleep-deprived?
• ...

In the midst of it all, God puts up a steady hand and says, "Hold it, Sarah." Then He lovingly directs me to Psalm 116:7.

Be at rest once more, O my soul,

for the Lord has been good to you.

I cannot, cannot forget His goodness. It's been proven over and over to me in very real ways. Even as our life will change in a dramatic ways in the next five weeks, I have to remember that He is good, and what He does is good. So - He calls my soul to be at rest and remember. He is the Provider God, my Good Shepherd, who calls me to come rest in His gentle guidance.

Yesterday's hymn leaped off the pages into my heart. Especially the end of verse 1 and beginning of verse 2:

Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.

Be still.

Growth

I love watching kids grow. I remember when I first moved to Maryland, I made an instant bond with a little four-year-old named Rebekah. Last weekend, she celebrated her 8th birthday! As I told her, I have known her for half of her life! Amazing.

I just scoured my old xanga site to retrieve this photo from November 2006.

[Photo credit: Esther]

All grown up! Here she is, at age 8, with her BFF, Joy :)

Two and a half years ago, I remember excitedly rushing to the hospital to see Abe & Kisung's firstborn child, Samantha. Now she is the one running all over the place, talking up a storm and always surprising me with her wide vocabulary!

Here she is, one day old and already making friends with her buddy Nathanael Brown.

This was taken on Easter Sunday...a beautiful, sunshiney day!
I just can't get enough of this girl's infectious giggle! :)

[Photo credit: Augustine]

Watching kids grow up, in our church and in my school, makes me marvel at creation, and especially our Creator. It also challenges me to ask, Am I growing too? Some things will never change - like my shoe size, which has remained the same since 8th grade. But I never ever hope to see my faith or love for the Lord to stagnate.

⁶I planted the seed, Apollos watered it, but God made it grow. ⁷So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow.
-Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 3:6-7

The Bible.

When my students don't finish their work in the morning, they have to come into the classroom and finish during their recess time. Today, I was eating my lunch and reading a book when a few of my girls came in to work on their stories. One of them, in particular, took great interest in what I was doing:

L: Mrs. Park, what are you reading - the Bible?
MP: No, it's just a thick book. Do you read the Bible?
L: Yes.
MP: What do you like to read about in the Bible?
L: Jesus.
MP: What's your favorite part of the Bible?
L: Like, chapter 5...

She then proceeded to tell me a story about Jesus going to His friend's house because His friend was having a party and He wanted to go and somebody pushed Him and He fell down...


Hmm. Still trying to figure out whether this could be her paraphrased version of an account in the Bible (Wedding in Cana? Bleeding woman touching his cloak?) or just a story she made up as she went along. She is, after all, quite the creative (not to mention talkative!) one... :)

eleven!

I'm at school and I have only e l e v e n students today! oh my, how glorious. 11 out of 23 kids on a half day (due to expected snowfall)...what can you do? I'm really loving it! I get to set aside discipline and crowd-control and focus on enjoying each student and loving them.

Snow. How I love it! I can't wait for this huge storm we're expecting...I just love the feel of anticipation as it falls softly, blanketing the world with soft, clean, fluffiness. It makes everything beautiful. I was reading a Boundless article earlier this week about how snow is like God's forgiveness - even the Word speaks of making us "whiter than snow." I like that. I love that He is the One that makes all things beautiful (Eccl. 3:11).

.obedience.

This seems to be coming up a lot these days: obedience. Simple concept, difficult follow-through.

This year, I am leaning towards 2 very similar verses to hang onto as my key verses for 2010.
1 Corinthians 10:31 - So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
Colossians 3:23 - Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,

This is mostly because I've recently been thinking about my day-to-day schedule. A lot of the things that I do during the week are church-related and, at the surface-level, "honor God." However, I haven't been doing very well at offering all of my heart while doing it.

Attitude: it's at the core of what we do and almost serves as the dividing line between a mere activity and worship that is pleasing to God.

This year, I want to be intentional in viewing everything I do as worship...and as a result, striving for excellence. For His sake...He is worthy of no less than the absolute best I can give! That's why I love these verses - they break things down and make everything very simple: it's about doing it for Him, not me or anyone else.

So, obedience...

It really hit home when I was studying with syunie earlier this week. We were in John 17, Jesus' longest recorded prayer in the Gospels.
Verse 4 says: ⁴I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.

Jesus' obedience is what brought God glory! He Himself emphasizes obedience to His disciples earlier in John 14:23: Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching.
But why do we make obedience seem so much harder, so much more complicated that what it really is?

A few weeks ago, I got a very clear picture of what simple obedience looks like: while the youth leaders were planning for the retreat, we called a few people to help out. I was really encouraged by their very simple and eager responses to our requests: "I'll do whatever you want me to." It made me think how much it must please God to hear those very words from us. That's the attitude I long to have before my King!

fight for joy.

fight for it.
expect it.

psalm 42-43

By day the Lord directs His love,
at night His song is with me--
a prayer to the God of my life.
-42:8